Having graduated this week and finishing my high school exams, I have begun preparing for uni *drumroll*— Bocconi in Milan, Italy! No doubt, the journey would be challenging especially since I have never been to Europe. Ooh I sense some Deja Vu! I had been in a similar situation 2 years ago when I moved to Singapore. In an instance, I had to leave behind everything I had ever known – my home, my friends, my familiar neighborhood and lots of other lovely things in India. But as it is often said, it’s discomfort that leads to growth. So here I am, starting a reflective process full of mistakes and lessons learned which I intend to carry with me throughout life.
The following is a piece of reflection and understanding which I gained while overcoming some of the major challenges I faced.
Swoosh. All that could be heard was the low, continuous murmur of the car as it made its way through the noiseless, dimly-lit street to a marathon event. There was a deafening silence inside the car creating a dissonant contrast with the inner turmoil in our minds. “Are we prepared for this?” seemed to be the question on all our minds. Our bags were packed with various energy bars and water, but our bodies seemed to be incapable of running even a meter. This obliterating feeling was mirrored as I sat, although with 200 students, all alone. “Was I going to be enough?” The tension only escalated in the five minutes of calm before the storm of frantic writing hit, as if everyone had suddenly been jolted out of their reverie. I began to jot down calculations, the numbers swimming in my head.
Similar to the initial sprint in the start of the marathon, we were all aiming to get ahead as fast as possible. With the time ticking, both on the shadowy roads and the stifling room, I felt like a lost sailor in the sea, with other ships sprinting ahead. There came a point where it seemed, no matter how hard I sprinted, no matter how fast I tried to solve my math exam, there would always be someone faster, someone better.
Faced with constant failures and despite persistent efforts, I realized that along with hard work, there was another missing part, the key to success.
The medal I received at the end of the marathon did not signify the completion of a run. To me, it was about the pain, the tears, the injuries I recovered from and the friends that pushed me along the way. My math test wasn’t a simple sum of marks on a sheet, it was the knowledge I gained on the way and the lessons I learnt. As Paulo Coelho stated in his book The Alchemist, “The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.”
From this period of self-reflection, I knew I had to slow down. While others took their initial sprint, I learnt to hold my ground and focus on MY footsteps. At that moment, they were all that mattered. One step to another, I paced myself, looking back upon my brutal training hours and the blood, sweat and tears I had shed. Looking back, upon the improvement I had undergone and the bonds I had developed. I finally started to enjoy the process, the run while the city was asleep, the thrill of the math test which I now seemed to excel in. It was never about the destination, but the journey.
At last, having crossed the finish line, the wealth of knowledge, memories and experience was the real prize I had gotten. Even now, as the medal hangs from my wall, it highlights to me its true purpose. The lesson that while there would always be someone faster and better, all I had to focus on was being the best version of myself. After ages of contemplating my position in the race of life, I had finally realized what Connor Price- my favorite artist- meant when he said “This [is] a marathon, it’s not a hundred meters.”
Leave a comment